Anyways...

well it seems kids are leaving me alone now.
i haven't heard anything else about a lawsuit or anything, but i apparently won an award

in any case, i think i am going to head to charleston or myrtle beach in South Carolina.

it'd be nice to see the ocean in warmer weather than when i was in New York.

this might be my final stop, i am not sure.
i got a little bit of money from my parents, mainly for the window of my car. i dunno, i am going to see if i can try to play a show or something to try and get some cash. the only thing is that like, outside of playing shows, i don't know if i'd need to get some kind of visa or permit if i picked up some actual job somewhere. i don't even know if i would want to go through all that hassle as it is.

i talked to Samantha last night. she heard about the whole fracas and called to see how i was doing. then we just kinda bullshitted a bit. made her laugh a couple times, which was good to hear.

i'd also like to thank Jeff from ap.net for being real cool to me throughout this whole thing. haha i think it's rather ironic that this whole thing started with some Kerouac inspiration, and the dude who's been coolest to me throughout the thing goes by Neo Cassady.

i'll have to buy him a beer if i cross his path on this trip.

time for food.

Homeboy Hotel

sorry for the small pictures.

i'm in asheville, north carolina right now (as of Sunday, i got there faster than i anticipated).
haven't done too much crazy stuff. i went to a place called Stella Blue to catch a show, ended up making friends and all that. i find it surprisingly easy to meet people once i mention my trip. i usually start with Kerouac, which is met half the time with enthusiasm, and the other half with "who?". saying "I'm from Canada, eh?" usually does the trick.

i don't understand the American fascination with "eh". i don't even say "eh" outside of those situations. though i suppose i also don't understand things about the States either. none come to mind, though.

anyway, i ended following some people to some place called Homeboy Hotel. oooh man. what a place. here's a bit of a rundown, what i learned about it in my drunken stand there:

Christmas tree has been up for 7 months
drunken debauchery, a sin bin. hell on earth, but sooo, sooo fun.
4 bedroom 2 bathrooms
lorded over by Justin and Gay Chase.
Gay Chase is their in house gay guy
Will no longer in existence at the end of this month.

try to imagine that. as i don't think i am going to post too much more here, for reasons wrapped in *'s later.

i called Samantha when i got here Sunday. she answered this time. it's so...awkward isn't even the right word...i don't know. Cold. we talked for a little while, just about small talk bullshit as if we had just met each other. *she's read my blog*, it seems, which made things ultra-tense, but nothing came of it. the long silences between words argued and spoke enough for us

there was just a lingering disappointment in her voice, which made me uneasy.

sigh.

----

in lighter news, here's today's music bits. some video, some audio.

first some videos. sorry they're broken up. they're from back when i saw Across Five Aprils. kinda crap quality too. oh well.

***i removed these***

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Check this shit out. Andreas Kapsalis Trio. the guy plays the guitar like a piano, 8 finger tapping or whatever, with two drummers. and i think he plays "drums" on the body of his guitar too. intense stuff.

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New Mars Volta video, Ilyena


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No songs to post, but check out Portugal. The Man anyway

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i'm thinking of starting to post full albums even. unless links are just fine with you guys.

Still here...

So i'm still here in tennessee.

So far, the trip has been like one of those scenes in a movie, where it's a montage of nonstop excitement, and then reality or some other kind of evil sets in

As such, I had been on a roll on this trip without a destination, and I suppose the "without a destination" part is setting in finally. While that is no great evil, the amount of money I spent, and have yet to spend is a looming one.

Not unexpected, but enough to give me pause. At least in the sense of I want to have a little more of a plan, especially should something drastic or desperate happen.

In any case, sitting around has given me time to reflect, which for this blog usually means longer than necessary posts, haha.

First and foremost, I haven't thought about Samantha at all. I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, yeah, now that i take the time to think of her, I miss her. Perhaps that is my reality check, the whole reason I am even on this trip is because of her. I don't even know what she's doing, how she feels about my being gone, etc.

I'm sure I can imagine, or I could just check her myspace or facebook or whatever. But I don't feel compelled to at all. And that's what is making me uneasy about it.

If you've read this at all, you've seen my post about cougars. Not once, did it cross my mind as to what she would think if she ever read it, nor did she enter my mind at all when it was actually happening. Any spiritual, practical, or useful enlightenment or growth I wanted out of this seems to be supplanting everything I held as "mine" or "myself" before.

Of course, I may also just be hungover. And, I've just been away from everything for so long, I imagine teh sentiment may change when I get back.

Damn, I haven't even talked to my family, nor anyone from home, now that I think about it.

I'm also wondering about money. I'd like to still keep out here, maybe head to Florida or chill out till Mardi Gras, but I will definitely need to make some money if I do. I can probably stay out till sometime in February, but if I try to work it ou (which I did), something cool or big will have to happen by the 19th. In whatever drunken mathemagical haze I was in, budgeting my remaining funds led to that date as doomsday.

I do have my guitar though, I could probably do some open mics or something. Gigs.

Anyways, and speaking of which, I've been spending time crawling through the racks of record stores and I've seen a couple shows, all that.

This is basically just a dump of stuff I've come across or already had:
Some band called Secret lives. shitty quality, but it gets the point across.

***i removed these***

Here's a band called Inchworm, a Sparklehorse/Wilco style band.
Lost Days

Tom Schraeder and His Ego, Ryan Admas/Paul Westerberg style. poppy, but he's got hooks for days, man.
Easy Way To Cry

hey whatever, this whole ramblin' man trip makes me feel like listening to singer-songwriter shit.

backstage somewhere in Lexington:


mmmm. maker's mark.

this bird is flying to toronto

So Rhett Miller is playing tomorrow in Toronto.

Yeah, I'm into that shit. A couple years back, Veal Chop gave me a copy of "The Instigator". It was all right.

I wasn't really into that kind of stuff, alt-country or whatever Veal called it. I had just started a kick of indie stuff (via a late introduction to At the Drive In), and Veal was/is some kind of indie fountain.

Anyway, Sam and I are going. Good times.

Labatt times.

I Am Chris

I wonder if there's a way for the clarity of the morning after a drunken argument to manifest itself during the argument, as opposed to after, when there's a chance the argument leads to permanent consequences. I suppose it would we

As always, Sam and I are fine, apologetic, etc. We met up for a late lunch today, and spent the rest of the day as we usually do, happy. That's all that needs to be said there. This blog doesn't need to be anymore of a drama fest.

I just got home, and I'm listening to At The Gates. Seriously, the need to do some reunion shows here or in the States. The band is sick.

Um...guess I only have random thoughts here. I saw I Am Legend today. I think I was more psyched about the Dark Knight trailer than the movie. It wasn't bad, but the storyline is completely different from the book. I usually don't judge movies by the books they are based off of, as I understand the mediums are completely different, but I think this is the first time I've ever been disappointed by the translation. The whole reason for calling the story "I Am Legend" in the movie is the exact opposite of the book. Still, Will ("Welcome to Earth!") Smith
did a fine job.

I am tired as hell.

I always feel like I need to keep filling this out. Every sentence I type seems like I need to make
3 more to keep this interesting.

yeah, I'm drained.

I'll write more tomorrow.

So last night...

Sigh.

Well, I graduated. I finally received the piece of pretty paper that now says to society I am an adult with potential to succeed. My potential to fail is assumed because I am young and a human being, but this paper encourages at least a second chance, my professors tell me.

I am happy about that.

What I am not happy about is last night turned out.
It started well enough, Sam and I met up with my family after the ceremony, had a late lunch, went back to my place, [censored], and got ready to meet friends as well as the night shift at the local dive.

Turns out, most of our people didn't make it, on account of the weather, which kinda bummed me out. It just ended up with 5 of us: myself, Sam, and our friends Andrew, Danielle, and Veal Chop*.

Long story short, we just drank and went through (what I'm sure is) the usual "What comes next?" conversations that happens after these things. Sam's still in school another year, and the others are already either moving or have begun their job search. I, on the other hand, have no idea. Sam never likes to hear that. She's the type that feels a script for life is absolutely necessary, even if it's just to keep everything random or to do nothing at all. If you are to do nothing, you must plan for nothing. One shouldn't attempt or risk anything they aren't positive they can achieve.

And hey, whatever, that's fine, but I'd much rather have my life come to me moment by moment. I am very much more interested in the means than the end of something. The journey towards any goal I have is always much more exciting than the goal. I know I talked about being psyched to graduate, but that's more because it opens up a whole new landscape of uncertainties, unpredictability, and all that shit. Fuck the victory, how did I run the race?

Anyway, I'm rambling. Later that night, Sam and I are sitting at the bar now, and she takes off to make a phone call. I'm reading a flyer for a show at the Guelph later this month and draining my 7th Labatt when the bartender comes by with a smile and a shot. She pours tequila. I hate tequila. It is the only shot I will refuse, even if offered. I take it anyway. It sucks.

As I'm coughing, Sam sits down, and asks "Why did she buy you a shot?". She did not sound happy, and a familiar sigh swelled inside as I said it was because I just graduated. I knew she had already made up her mind though.

And so, we got into a fight. Yelling without trying to be loud, all that shit. It happens everytime I get a shot from a girl bartender, even if the bartender gives one to her as well. She gets extremely jealous for reasons I don't even understand. I worked as a bartender when she met me, so I grew to know all the other bartenders in the area, most of which are female. To her, that translates to my having fucked all of them, before and after I met her. Or something, I don't even know. I do know it drives me fucking crazy.

And so we argue all the way home, shouting nonsense at each other; my trying to explain how it's just a shot, not a proposal, and her insistence that I was hitting on the girl when Sam left for the phone. Somehow, the argument turns to my not having plans after graduation, and

And whatever, she went off to her place and I to mine, too pissed and drunk to think straight. This happens way too often between us, and it's becoming absurd.

Absurd.

I can't tell right now if it's the alcohol or thinking about all of that that's making my head hurt worse right now.

Ugh, I need food.

////

*trust me, the name "Veal Chop" is way more interesting than the story of how he got the name...

One small step, eh...

So I've decided to start this blog.

Of course, I have no idea who'll even read this, but what the hell. Times, they are a-changing. Come writers and critics. Etcetera.

I'm Chris.

First, i need to mention that I'm graduating this Friday, and I'm fucking stoked. Be stoked with me. I've been studying Journalism (for those curious) at Sheridan Institute, and I am way too anxious to wrap this up. I need to get the hell out of here. I've been in Canada all my life, never once stepping foot onto any foreign soil.

I need a break, I need a change, I just need some different air to breathe.

Of course, where I'd like to go has some issues with where I can afford to go.
And I've got a girlfriend. (don't kill me Sam ;D). I've got one hell of an itch though.

A friend recently turned me on to Kerouac. What the hell. The dude writes like my puppy pisses (all over the place). Corny, whatever. It's true. He's got the right idea, though. Whatever I think of his writing style, he's completely convinced me that I need to get out of here, and soon. Yeah, I'm about to graduate, and should probably follow the script and get a job, but what the fuck, I'm only 23, I have the rest of my life to be boring.

Hell, I haven't even toured with any of the bands I've been in. I've got friends in bands who are doing all right (some more than others), but every one of them have managed to make it at least to some other place in Canada. Some to the States as well. I thought i was gonna be close with my last band, but the drummer moved to go to school in Minnesota. Dick.

That's his name, actually :)

Anyway, right now, I'm just focused on graduating. More precisely, I'm focused on what I'll be drinking after graduating.

Later.