Monday, February 4, 2008

Lonesome Traveller

So I think I am going to head back to Ontario.

This trip has been amazing. Minus all the bullshit with Across Five Aprils. Apparently they asked kids to come harass me again, but oh well. Rather that then legal action.

Well i dunno, i may hang around here (South Carolina, Myrtle Beach to be exact) a little while longer. The weather's pretty decent, should be 65 degrees today. And of course, I like seeing the ocean. It's hard to imagine not being able to see the end of something, to see how expansive and so much like the sky something can be.

But at the same rate, I am getting a bit homesick. And I miss Samantha. I was at a pub last night watching the Super Bowl (fuck yes, Giants. don't give a fuck about the team but i do love me an upset), and made friends with a dude there. The place had free italian beef and meatballs for the game, it was amazing. Salt of the earth types packed into a hole in the wall.

Anyway, back on topic, at some point in the night I'm explaining why I'm out here when his girlfriend calls him. He looked quite disappointed, maybe even dreadful. He proceeds to get into an intense argument, which I got the feeling they've had many times before. I tried not to eavesdrop, but the dude was right next to me. Afterwards, we talked about it a bit.

It's almost hilarious how similar their relationship was to mine and Sam's. Such petty and inconsequential things that are simple feints hiding the real issues people don't want to talk about (she complained about how he text messaged "luv" instead of "love" to her, taking it to mean he didn't mean it). It made me think about me and Sam, of course, as well as relationships in general.

With my previous girlfriend, i don't think we ever fought. Maybe once, in three years. And before that, I don't think I've ever fought with whoever i was with, though with Sam it's like every week. And the rational part of me would have had me leave her after the second or third time. Maybe even the first. But i stayed with her, and her with me. People say that's just how relationships are, and I think it's bullshit, even though I'm living it.

There is no reason for things to be like that, especially since I have to repeat myself over and over again to Sam when she already knows the truth about something but seems to want to argue just to see if I even care. It's so draining, but I miss her more than anything.

And I have no idea why, it makes no sense, but i suppose it doesn't need to.

Anyway, the sun's out. I need to go outside.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are an utter tool. You prove it in your sad attempt to be "Kerouac-ish" with your 'salt of the earth' type wordings. Wow are you a douche.